THE 2022 KINETIC SCULPTURE TEAMS
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Official Kinetic Awards
The Very Competitive Non-Competitive Category of Awards
The Golden Dinosaur Award: TEMPEST FUGIT
Awarded to either the first Sculpture to “breakdown” or the “most memorable breakdown.”
Worst Honorable Mention: MAD RATTERS
Lowest Award known to Humankind. This is given to the Sculpture whose half-baked theoretical “engineering” did not deter its Pilot from the challenge of the race.
The Next to the Last Award: FlinTStones
Awarded to the Sculpture and Pilot finishing, well, next to last. That way the end of the race can get pretty exciting.
Golden Flipper Award: Wake me up before you gogo
Awarded to the Sculpture with the most “interesting” water entry.
Best Pit Crew: Big Lady
Awarded and judged by the Pit Crew “Spy Crew,” who observe patience, ingenuity and resourcefulness, and quick thinking in the face of a kinetic disaster.
Best Costume: PlaTy-Pus
Awarded by The Fashion Police who keep the criteria a closely closeted secret.
Best Bribes Award: Hold Your Horses
Awarded to the Vehicle and Pilot whose standing in the race depended heavily on the quality of bribes given out.
Sock Creature of the Universe Award: Ve-Fossil-Wrapper
Awarded by a small human sock creature Judge. Awarded to the Homemade Sock Creature and its creator for its universal and timeless beauty.
The Judges’ Fill-in-the-Gap Award: SP SPACE CRUISER
Awarded by the Judges who always complain about the award they want to give, but can’t. So this is the spontaneously-awarded, on a whim, needed-to-be-recognized-fill-in-the-gap award. Like a donut hole reunited with the donut!!!
The Time Warp Award: TIME MAKER
Category celebrates the 22nd year of racing and/or the theme of coming back to wheel-ality after 2 years of Covid
The Spirit of the Glorious Founder Award:
Jemicy Teacher August DiMucci
Granted in honor of the Glorious Founder of the Kinetic Sculpture Race, Hobart Brown, who in his infinite wisdom knew it was a good thing to reward a team or volunteer whose heart was in the right place and embodied the spirit of the race as Hobart meant it to be.
The Very Very Competitive Competitive Category of Awards
Ace Pilots Awards: PINKTASTIC, Hold Your Horses, Disco Fever, Light Years Ahead
The ACE Award is the most prestigious individual honor a racer can garner. This prize is a special miniscule, machine-made medal all the way from China (think Congressional Medal of Honor, Purple Heart, and Einstein Genius Knights of the Round Table Award). Many of the machines and pilots that race in other parts of the world do so only for this award and eschew any other glory or honors. A pilot who obtains this medal has conquered not only a race course, but his/her machine, and him/herself.
The People’s Choice: TICK TOCK THE CROC
Awarded to the Bush League or Official Kinetic Sculpture and Pilots with the most popular vehicle. This prize is scientifically determined by our Flock of Chickens who canvas all of Baltimore during the course of this endless race.
The Speed Award: STEAM JUNK
Awarded to the Sculpture and Pilot with the fastest elapsed course time after any time-penalty infractions have been added.
Engineering Award: PINKTASTIC
Awarded by Judges who know a good working machine when they see it. This prize takes into consideration the genius involved in conquering the course obstacles through Sculpture design, as well as any ingenious facet of the design that functions in a truly unique or Glorious Manner.
The Art Award: WINGING IT!
Awarded by the Art Judges. Category includes consideration of color, costumes, two and three dimensional “artistic designs,” kinetic motion, humor, theatrical appeal, and mass crowd- and media glory-seeking.
The 2022 Grand East Coast National Mediocre Champion:
Awarded to the Sculpture and pilot finishing in the middle. At The World Championship in Ferndale, California, you would win a very mediocre classic car, like a 1957 Rambler, which is, in fact, a really nice mediocre prize.
But in the Baltimore East Coast National Championships, you are guaranteed to win a really mediocre prize and you can compete in California in the World Championship Race, if you want to.
A Special thank you to AVAM's Team Fifi! Lost in the Sixties PIT CREW
who performed Valiantly and cheerfully for “nothing but the glory”
No Kinetic awards are given to AVAM's Team Fifi as she is the mascot, standard bearer, and pink protector of the integrity of the race.
Kinetic Sculpture Race founder