Photo credit: Richard Wilke, KineticBaltimore.com.
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THE 2023 KINETIC SCULPTURE TEAMS
Scroll through our 2023 gallery. Click image to view a larger size.
2024 Official Kinetic Awards
The Very Competitive Non-Competitive Category of Awards
The Golden Dinosaur Award: #15 STATUE OF LIB-BEAR-TY
Awarded to either the first Sculpture to “breakdown” or the “most memorable breakdown.”
Fifi broke down a few feet from the starting line.
Worst Honorable Mention: #1 THIS DOES NOT BELONG IN A MUSEUM
Lowest Award known to Humankind. This is given to the Sculpture whose half-baked theoretical “engineering” did not deter its Pilot from the challenge of the race.
The Next to the Last Award: #2 THE BATTLE OF BALL'S DEEP
Awarded to the Sculpture and Pilot finishing, well, next to last. That way the end of the race can get pretty exciting.
Golden Flipper Award: #18 STREET
Awarded to the Sculpture with the most “interesting” water entry.
Best Pit Crew: #4 FALLEN TOWER OF PISA
Awarded and judged by the Pit Crew “Spy Crew,” who observe patience, ingenuity and resourcefulness, and quick thinking in the face of a kinetic disaster.
Best Costume: #6 Pop rock NEONderthals
Awarded by The Fashion Police who keep the criteria a closely closeted secret.
Best Bribes Award: #23 DANCIN' FOOLS
Awarded to the Vehicle and Pilot whose standing in the race depended heavily on the quality of bribes given out.
Sock Creature of the Universe Award: #9 & 10 Fire chief Vesuvius & Overlea Fire-Rescue Dive Team
Awarded by a small human sock creature Judge. Awarded to the Homemade Sock Creature and its creator for its universal and timeless beauty.
The Judges’ Fill-in-the-Gap Award: #8 HAPPY TRAILS
Awarded by the Judges who always complain about the award they want to give, but can’t. So this is the spontaneously-awarded, on a whim, needed-to-be-recognized-fill-in-the-gap award. Like a donut hole reunited with the donut!!!
The Monumental Masterpiece AWARD: #11 LONG SPHINX
This category celebrates the team who really got this year’s theme. The 2024 Monumental Masterpiece Award goes to the vehicle and team who created a massive and/or important “work of art” which will stand the test of time or at least remain standing until this awards ceremony is over.
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The Spirit of the Glorious Founder Award: Volunteer Carl BYRNE
Granted in honor of the Glorious Founder of the Kinetic Sculpture Race, Hobart Brown, who in his infinite wisdom knew it was a good thing to reward a team or volunteer whose heart was in the right place and embodied the spirit of the race as Hobart meant it to be.
The Very Very Competitive Competitive Category of Awards
Kinetic Sculpture Race founder
HOBART BROWN
Kinetic Sculpture Race
A human-powered,
eco-happy race of artful contraptions built by ordinary people to travel over land, water, sand, and mud.
Ace Pilots Awards: #3 OCT-OPUS, #7 SCRAPASAURUS, #17 SUBWAY, #18 STREET, #20 EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
The ACE Award is the most prestigious individual honor a racer can garner. This prize is a special miniscule, machine-made medal all the way from China (think Congressional Medal of Honor, Purple Heart, and Einstein Genius Knights of the Round Table Award). Many of the machines and pilots that race in other parts of the world do so only for this award and eschew any other glory or honors. A pilot who obtains this medal has conquered not only a race course, but his/her machine, and him/herself.
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The People’s Choice: #19 TAIL-OR-SWIFTIE
Awarded to the Bush League or Official Kinetic Sculpture and Pilots with the most popular vehicle. This prize is scientifically determined by our Flock of Chickens who canvas all of Baltimore during the course of this endless race.
The Speed Award: #17 SUBWAY
Awarded to the Sculpture and Pilot with the fastest elapsed course time after any time-penalty infractions have been added.
Engineering Award: #20 EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
Awarded by Judges who know a good working machine when they see it. This prize takes into consideration the genius involved in conquering the course obstacles through Sculpture design, as well as any ingenious facet of the design that functions in a truly unique or Glorious Manner.
The Art Award: #5 THE WATERS [sic] ART MUSEUM
Awarded by the Art Judges. Category includes consideration of color, costumes, two and three dimensional “artistic designs,” kinetic motion, humor, theatrical appeal, and mass crowd- and media glory-seeking.
The 2024 Grand East Coast National Mediocre Champion:
#11 CONESTOGA CREAMERS
Awarded to the Sculpture and pilot finishing in the middle. At The World Championship in Ferndale, California, you would win a very mediocre classic car, like a 1957 Rambler, which is, in fact, a really nice mediocre prize.
But in the Baltimore East Coast National Championships, you are guaranteed to win a really mediocre prize and you can compete in California in the World Championship Race, if you want to.
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