A No. 1.

HOBART'S LAW OF KINETICS

Sculptures must be human-powered! No pulling, pushing, paddling, or other propulsive method is allowed except by Official Pit Crew and Pilots (sometimes called Kinetinauts). Stored energy is allowed for non-propulsive purposes only. It is legal to get assistance from the natural power of water, wind, sun, gravity and friendly extraterrestrials.

A1a.

LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS RULE

All Official Pilots, Pit Crew, and Barnacles in the race must accept and sign the waiver of all responsibility (Waiver Of All Responsibility Form).

#1.

IRS RULE

Entry forms, waiver sheets and entry fees must be in 7 days before the race in order to receive any fringe benefits, like official stuff you need for the race.

1b.

GEOMETRIC NEW MATH PRE-CALCULUS LAW OF PROPORTIONS

Each Sculpture must be no more than 8 feet wide, 13 feet high and 35 feet long while on the road or highway.

1+.

PERSONAL SECURITY RULE

Each Sculpture must carry at all times 1 comforting item of psychological luxury heretofore referred to as the "Homemade Sock Creature" (HSC). Homemade Sock Creature must be made in a home, from a not-too-recently-worn sock from the home, and resemble a creature homemade from a sock. (penalty: 1 hour)

2B.

OR NOT TO BE

The following safety equipment must be on board at all times. Citations will be issued for lost equipment! (penalty: 1 hour)

• Approved warning triangle, 12"x 12"
  
• Approved USCG life preservers, one per pilot
  
• Operable and functioning brakes
  
• Affixed tow ring
  
• Water (1 quart per pilot)
  
• Paddle or Oar
  
• Horn
  
• Approved bicycle helmet must be worn by all Pilots under 18

2 + or -.

TWO'S COMPANY RULE

Each Sculpture may have any number of Pilots. Each Pilot must have 1 human Pit Crew member. Each Sculpture may have only 1 human Barnacle.

2.1

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON LAW OF NATURE

All Law Enforcement orders must be followed in cases of hazardous conditions. (penalty: Banishment)

2bad.

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON LAW OF THE ROAD

All Law Enforcement orders must be followed and all Sculptures must follow the rule of the road. A Maryland Vehicle Code Violation resulting in a citation issued by an official law enforcement agent also carries a Kinetic penalty. (penalty: 1 hour)

2big2b4gotten.

PACK MULE RULE

All special terrain equipment must be on board the Sculpture at all times. (penalty: 2 hours)

2C.

SELF-EXPLANATORY EXPLANATION REGULATION

Your Sculpture must not be dangerous or harmful to yourself or anything else in the world. Projectiles such as arrows, anchors, and grappling hooks fall into this category and are not allowed.

2C or not 2C.

MOM'S HIGH ANXIETY RULE

Make sure you can get out of your Sculpture in an emergency. Each Pilot must have a quick exit path. All Sculptures must pass a technical safety inspection which will be conducted by the Official Marine Safety Posse immediately prior to the first water crossing. Life jackets must be worn while on the water! You will not be allowed to begin a water crossing unless you are wearing a life jacket.

Go2.

NO PUSHING AT START REGULATION

The Kinetic Sculpture race begins at Rash Field with a LeMans start. Pit Crews or spectators are not to assist Pilots at the start. (penalty: 1 hour)

2go go.

VARIATION ON A THEME OF NO PUSHING REGULATION

No pulling or pushing on Race course allowed except by Official Pit Crew and Pilots. Exception: in the Official designated Push Rope areas.

2 4/3.

POETIC KINETIC LICENSE

Your Official Kinetic License Plate must be visible on your Sculpture at all times. The name of your Sculpture should be visible to spectators, the major TV networks, local TV Crews, glossy magazine writers, Kinetic Kops, Officials, Posse, and Judges.

3.

GILLIGAN'S DRIFT LIMIT

The drift limit in the Harbor is to be set by the Coast Guard and/or Official Marine Safety Posse. If you drift out of limits the Coast Guard or Posse will tow you back on course so as not to lose you to the High Seas. (penalty: 1 hour)

3D.

DRAFT HOGGER REGULATION

No drafting of motor vehicles on land or water. (penalty: 1 hour)

4xoxo.

KINETINAUT CODE OF CONDUCT

4#@!%.

HONK AND PASS POLITENESS LAW

Sculptures honked upon must yield right-of-way to faster moving sculptures wishing to pass. Passing Pilots should gesture or display an obligatory sign of gratitude.

5.

THE ROSIE RUIZ RULE

All Sculptures must stay on the course at all times. Only Official Kinetic Shortcuts allowed. A first violation will result in a 2 hour penalty and a series of Dirty Looks and Disgrace. A second violation will result in Banishment. (penalty: 2 hours or Banishment)

5A.

MOTHER'S BIG: LITTLE RATIO

At least one adult Pilot (over the age of 18) must be on board Sculpture at all times while traveling the course. (penalty: Banishment)

6.

ARMAND'S ARM AND LEG LAW

To become an ACE Pilot and receive the title of Most Visionary Professor and other accolades, your sculpture must be ridden by all Pilots at all times over the entire course. Therefore, at no time (including water entry and exit) can your sculpture be pushed, pulled, or otherwise propelled along the course by Pilots or Pit Crew, or both, except in designated "Legal Push Rope" areas. Your Sculpture may be moved sideways or backwards, either by Pilots or Pit Crew or both to areas to perform repairs or to gain better course conditions or to clear the course. In addition, no gadgets, such as skis, snowshoes, boards, etc. attached to your feet will be considered part of the sculpture. (penalty: 3 hours)

7.007.

REAL THING / RIGHT STUFF RULE

During timed competition no relief Pilots will be allowed, unless specifically authorized by Kinetic Race Officials. Pilots must stay with their Sculpture and are not allowed to ride on Pit Crew vehicle while Sculpture is progressing the course. In other words, you may not rotate Pilots during the race. (penalty: Banishment)

7 1/2.

THE AGONY OF DE FEAT LAW: THE NO TOWING RULE

A Sculpture must negotiate the course without assistance from any motorized vehicle. Receiving a tow suggests engineering improvements are required. Back to the old drawing board, and better luck next year! (exception: See rule 3, Gilligan's Drift Rule)

8.

THE DRUNK, DRANK, OR STILL DRINKING RULE

The consumption of alcoholic beverages or use of controlled substances by any Pilot or Pit Crew member while still on the course shall result in Banishment. It's not nice and besides it's unsightly in the eyes of spectators who look up to Kinetic Sculpture People with awe and wonderment, and it's against the law pertaining to all road negotiating vehicles and sculptures. Sculptures in violation of this rule will be confiscated by strict Race Officials. The same is true for any Sculpture carrying any alcoholic beverage container. (penalty: Banishment)

8ball.

8% TOTAL BODY WETNESS RULE

Pilots are only allowed 8% total area of body/clothes wetness. The point here is to stay out of the Harbor waters. Therefore every effort should be made to keep bodies above the Harbor water line. Wear a good anti-perspirant. (penalty: 30 minutes)

9.00

ALWAYS TRUE RULE AND ITS COROLLARY FOR THOSE
WHO DON'T GET IT

10M.

MANDATORY FUN REGULATION

All Pilots, Pit Crew members, Barnacles, Officials, Spectators, Police, Marine Posse, Timers, and Passersby must put great effort into HAVING FUN! for it is such craziness as this that keeps us all sane.